By Arthur Piccolo
News Americas, NEW YORK, NY, Fri. May 5, 2023: King Charles had a vision as he prepared to be formally installed as King of Britain. Late at night, only days before his coronation, his mother, Queen Elizabeth II, came to him in a dream. She was not wearing a crown and she was dressed in simple clothing.
Elizabeth spoke to him: “Charlie listen up. It is very different here in the After Life. Here we get to see and hear the Truth. I wasted my life. I was blinded by nonsense. The monarchy is a crock. It makes no sense. I could have done something useful with my life. All of us could. Some of you still can.
“Charlie here is what you must do on May 6th after the Archbishop of Canterbury blesses you as King and puts that absurd crown on your head. Thank God I do not have to wear it anymore.”
“Are you listening to me Charlie. As you rise to speak to the nation and the world here is what you must say ……….”
“Yes, mother I understand I will do it.”
And here is what happened. It is remarkable…
It is May 6th, 2023, and the whole of Britain is buzzing – some with excitement many more laughing, as they await the installation of former Prince Charles as their new king. The day finally arrives, and the grand ceremony begins with pomp and pageantry.
The royal family, dressed in their finest attire, is all smiles and waves as they make their way to the ceremony. The crowd cheers and claps, and most of all laughs, and all seems well.
Suddenly, a hush falls over the crowd as King Charles stands up to give his inaugural address as King. He starts by thanking the people of Britain for their support and loyalty over the years.
The crowd is all ears, lots of ears, eagerly anticipating what the new king has to say to all of them and inspire them.
And then, out of nowhere, King Charles drops a bombshell – he’s abdicating! Yes, you heard that right, he’s had enough of the monarchy and wants to abolish it immediately.
The crowd is stunned, and the royal family looks on in horror as King Charles continues his speech. “We Royals have been living a lie for generations,” he says. “It must stop right now today.”
The audience erupts in cheers and applause as they realize that the king is serious about ending the monarchy. The royal family, on the other hand, is left reeling from the shock of it all.
And then, to top it all off, King Charles announces that all the incredible wealth of the royal family must be returned to the British people. The crowd goes wild with excitement, and the royal family looks on in disbelief.
The comedy of the situation doesn’t stop there. The cameras zoom in on the Queen Consort, who looks like she’s about to faint or vomit. Prince William and Kate Middleton are frantically whispering to each other, trying to make sense of what’s happening.
And then, to make matters worse, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle show up by surprise and burst into the ceremony, wearing T-shirts that read “Abolish the Monarchy!” They high-five King Charles and join the crowd in cheering.
This historic moment ends with the royal family leaving the ceremony in a state of shock and disbelief, and the people of Britain celebrating their newfound freedom from the monarchy.
Parliament unanimously agrees with Charles and abolishes the monarchy only days later and claws back those billions of pounds the former royals had amassed over hundreds of years.
As for Charlie Windsor, his real name, he does become rich again in a legitimate way – he hires a high powered agent and Charlie starts charging astronomical fees for playing the King of Britain at expensive private parties, at conferences and on various television shows.
His biggest success by far is being asked by Mick Jagger to perform with The Rolling Stones on tour with them on their final worldwide concert tour titled: “The We Are Not Dead Yet Tour.” Charlie entertains the huge concert crowds, telling jokes about the monarchy between sets by the Stones, to standing ovations.
As for William and Kate, they open a very successful costume store. Luckily Parliament allowed the former royals to keep all the clothes they had amassed over generations, which they rented out. Obviously, they did very very well for Halloween each year.
Finally, and sadly, Harry and Meaghan divorced soon after. Harry went on to operate a roulette table at one of the big casinos in Las Vegas, which was very popular, and he benefitted from huge tips he always received from rich gamblers, who still considered him a Prince. He remarried to a popular Vegas stripper.
Then there was Meghan who faded back into obscurity.
All in all, they all lived more or less happily ever after, as Betsy Windsor celebrated in the After Life.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This satirical take on the coronation was written by Arthur Piccolo, a professional writer and commentator who often writes for New Americas.