Obama’s Next Speech

Sandals Grande Antigua Resort & Spa

“I’M LEAVING NOW TO GO WATCH THE GAME“
By Arthur Piccolo

News Americas, NEW YORK, NY, Fri. Sept. 2, 2011: President Obama will address Congress September 7th – sorry make that September 8th. Maybe, maybe not as we go to press here at News Americas . Then again the date is not the issue. Or is it?

What will Obama say this time? Surprise! It appears it will be all about jobs, jobs, jobs. I’m here to recommend a different speech. Surprise both Congress and most of all we the American People with something other than White House babble Barack.

Sure, sure President Obama is going to announce a host of wonderful jobs creation programs like a Presidential Santa Claus that cost a lot do little. They will sound so ambitious and noble. Word is one proposal is to create jobs to rebuild crumbling school buildings. Who can argue with that? The Republicans to begin with. They will challenge the costs and the results. Will the deal ever get through Congress? Or is this really more about Presidential politics and campaign talking points for Obama? Guess.

Wait a second. Let me back up.

Before we get to the proposals when any President addresses Congress no matter who the President is, we will go through the charade – those who bother to watch especially if it is September 8th the opening of the NFL season – back to the charade ….

….. some very carefully chosen typical Americans sitting up in the gallery with a BEAMING Michelle in her newest designer outfit – who President Obama will spent the first 5 minutes cracking us with their inspirational stories as Michelle BEAMS.

Nothing wrong with that except it is so phony These typical untypical Americans were recruited for only one reason – make Obama look good. Don’t expect to see them at The White House having dinner with the Obamas. Ever!

Back to The “real” Speech.

What does Google news say about it? I don’t mind letting them do my work for me. Google uses all the rest of us to make megabucks. Might as well use them. Besides my White House press credentials have nor arrived in the mail yet. For some reason??

SORRY not much on Google. Just as there won’t be in the Speech. If against the odds I am wrong I’ll apologize next week.

Not worried.

Now you know why Obama needs my advice and why he won’t take it. Boldness is not President Obama’s modus operandi. Never was. It’s all about squeaking through to win re-election by keeping down the anti-Obama vote while praying Democrats have no place else to go. Four more years of luxury free!

Still let me give it a try.

Convince Obama to surprise shock Congress and most of all we the American people, with a speech no one will believe he will give. Start off with your first sentence Barack ….

The problem in America isn’t jobs. It’s about a system that has become outdated that is controlled by elites who don’t really give a damn about America unless it puts even more money in their greedy hands. And for some psychic satisfaction does even more to screw and discourage the other 95% of Americans who aren’t rich.

Our tax system is a SHAM, says the President. Then this from Obama …

I am sick and tired of all the empty rhetoric about our military, mine included, for the last 3 years as President. Our bloated misguided military budget is a problem not a solution.

Then Obama says … do you realize every American soldier in both Iraq and Afghanistan costs the American people $1 MILLION – that’s one million dollars or more for each and every soldier for just one year. $1 MILLION a year to keep an American soldier in Iraq or Afghanistan that is absurd. Even worse, the thousands of American soldiers killed there for no good reason and many, many more disabled for life so we can keep the right wing whackos here happy.

Next stop calling Iraq and Afghanistan American WARS. What we did was invade and occupy both countries who never posed any threat to Americans. My fellow Americans it is called COLONIALISM and it has existed for ages.

We are the latest practitioners while spending more on it than any other nation ever has and I as your President have been a big supporter of expensive American colonialism.

No more. The jig is up. Then there is the mind boggling costs of both invasions and occupations. ONE TRILLION dollars each.

That’s right; eliminate those two colonial adventures plus the huge bloat in the military budget and SURPRISE no more federal government debt destroying our country. $ 2 1/2 TRILLION + the entire national debt gone.

What about the Chinese threat? America do you realize, Obama continues, as big as China is they spend 10% of what we do annually on their military. The threat is that they fund our bloated military putting us hopelessly in debt to the Chinese.

Now let’s talk about corporate taxes, Obama continues ….. what a crock all of us in Washington are delivering to the American people. Big American businesses are scamming the tax system, not being undermined by it. Show me a big company that pays what the tax code says it should and I’ll show you a white elephant.

In fact members of Congress let me quote the media, any media will do – this is from CBS Market Watch, August 31st …

“Twenty-five of the nation’s highest-paid chief executive officers took home more pay than their companies shelled out in corporate income taxes last year, even though their companies earned an average of $1.9 billion, according to a new study by the Institute for Policy Studies.”

That’s right American people, you are hearing this from me not on Saturday Night Live. We all live in Sucker City and as your President I am the biggest sucker of them all, believing they business “leaders” and promising to do even more for them if they will just contribute generously to my $1 BILLION re-election fund. So I can continue to live in luxury free.

Listen, I could go and on as I often do but since no one is watching and most of America is watching the opening game of the NFL season, let me cut this short and be merciful to the members of Congress stuck here with me when they should be watching the game.

Let me do one more. It may not seem major but it’s sort of funny. My support for space JUNK otherwise known as The International – meaning U.S. – Space Station. This one may make it to Saturday Night Live’s season opener.

First of all the space station really is a piece of aging space JUNK but the funny part is now that I have gutted disemboweled stomped on one of the greatest achievements in American history the U.S. space program – well get this …

We have no choice but to rely on a Russian relic their Soyuz capsules to get food, water and everything else to the astronauts on the space station and to get them on and off it.

Well this is hilarious …..

Already last week, a Soyuz launch to the space station crashed in Siberia no one got hurt or killed it was unmanned and unwomaned. But as a result there’s a 50/50 chance our astronauts may have to abandon the Space Station for an indefinite period if that happens there is another 50/50 chance if it takes too long the Space Station may begin to lose its orbit and disintegrate plunging toward Earth.

The good news it may make for a multi-billion dollar spectacular sky show depending where it falls and hopefully at night over American desert. The even better news is we won’t have to fund that space JUNK any longer if it disintegrates.

Well there is so much more to say but since half of the members of Congress have left already and if I get back to The White House without having to sign too many autographs as I leave the House chambers for the members of Congress still here who want to sell my autograph on EBay ….

….. if I can run that gauntlet fast enough I am told I may still make it back to The Big House and a few cold brews in time for the second half. O as for jobs, forget it. It’s only going to get worse. Don’t believe any one who says otherwise including me.

God Bless America! And go Packers!! I need to win Wisconsin. I can’t win Louisiana.

Arthur Piccolo is a professional writer and commentator and often writes about Latin America for New Americas.