News Americas, NEW YORK, NY, Fri. Dec. 20, 2019: WARNING! If you have a medical condition, this is HILLARYIOUS!
“Arthur, I so much appreciate your Wonderful Commentaries week after week. I wanted to do something very special for you and your many readers, even better than my fantastic Christmas letter to Nancy Pelosi this week.
“Something I would not even do for Sean Hannity or Fox News. I am going to bare my soul at Christmas for you. My personal feelings about Christmas. So, Arthur stand aside this week and I will address your readers for you …
“Well children it’s a very jolly Christmas for Your President ….
There is an Impeachment under my Christmas Tree Ho, Ho, Ho,
A gift from my good friends Nancy, Adam and Jerry Ho, Ho, Ho
I am going to save it wait until January to open it Ho, Ho, Ho
I have gifts for them of course coal lots of COAL Ho, Ho, Ho
It’s so much fun around The White House at Christmastime; we deck the halls and everything else with my many, many good RICH friends. It is PARTY TIME at The White House before I leave for my REAL home in Florida …
Where I will get my best Christmas gift. It goes well with Impeachment, even if I have to wait until next November for all those Florida electoral college votes. Yes, they have a special college in every state, and they choose the President.
They are so SMART; they chose me last time not the Wicked Witch, and since they are so smart, I am sure they will choose me again Ho, Ho. Ho.
Now enough about me … for a few brief moments but no more.
What do you want for Christmas America? I have so many gifts for you, where should I begin? Here is one that almost everyone, most of all my closest, dearest, RICHEST friends love – INEQUALITY – and so do I, Ho, Ho, Ho.
So, I am going to give some to all Americans again this Christmas, each of you will get your share of INEQUITY. And since I am the GENEROUS President, I will give most of you lots of INEQUALITY all year long – Ho, Ho, Ho.
But I am just getting started. I am the GIFT GIVING President – Ho, Ho, Ho.
Pollution lots of pollution that is another favorite gift of mine for everyone young and old other Presidents have not been as generous as I am. I will give you so much pollution you will still have plenty after my two terms as your President and plenty for your unborn grandchildren too – Ho, Ho, Ho.
As you read above, I am giving my dear friends Nancy, Adam and Jerry lots of COAL for Christmas and all the pollution that comes with it. It gets even better – your gift of pollution comes with so many other special gifts wrapped in in to fill lungs, the oceans and everything else – Ho, Ho, Ho.
Now let me get to the FEDERAL TAX CODE. I would never forget what a great Christmas gift it is in the hands of Santa Trump. Just ask my many, many RICH friends; they all know so, so well and so will you girls and boys all over America. I saved the best part for you – the CRUMBS – Ho, Ho, Ho.
Yes, CRUMBS are the very best part of the Tax Code. I know you all want to stay lean and mean. If you gorge on the Tax Code, you will get FAT & LAZY just like me and my very best friends. You never see me in a bathing suit!
The CRUMBS allow you to enjoy the simpler joys of life – like poverty, poor living conditions, crime-filled neighborhoods, lousy schools, lack of opportunity and so much more. These are JOYS if you learn to appreciate them. Trust me Americans you do not want to be fat and rich. Ho, Ho, Ho
It just is not fun. My, many, many very rich friends call me all the time and complain to their President how expensive big private jets have become and super yachts and how much property tax they have to pay on a few of their many mansions in places that oppress the rich with taxes even at Christmas!
I know these problems and they are very real I have had to suffer with them myself my entire life and why I don’t pay my so called fair share and why I hate taxes because taxes are UNFAIR to the rich and why I did not pay them.
CRUMBS for Christmas it would be too cruel to give to the RICH …
No, I SAVED the crumbs for you the 90% of my fellow Americans because I know how much you need and will appreciate the CRUMBS HO, HO, HO!
I have so many more Christmas gifts for you and yes Chanukah gifts for the Jewish-Americans who don’t celebrate Christmas, for some reason I will never understand but NO gifts for Muslims or undocumented immigrants …
I will not let them STEAL all the Christmas gifts I have for REAL Americans, most of all those in Red States and Swing States; they are SUPER Americans.
I am going to keep the rest of your Christmas gifts America as SURPRISES because I want Christmas to be very special for every one of you as it is for me because I am PRESIDENT and you are not – Ho, Ho, Ho.
Let me leave you with a brief very special Christmas story …
There once was a great man and he was smarter than anyone else and better than anyone else and he did so much good, especially for himself. But he could never achieve his dream of doing so much more good he could have if he was President of the United States; until one year a Wicked Witch tried to destroy him and he fought back with all his might and defeated her and for Christmas that year the very smart people in the electoral college made him President.
That person is me Your President, Donald J. Trump – HO, HO, HO
It is the greatest Christmas story of all since the very first Christmas and I think all Americans should agree Jesus and I are so much alike – Ho, Ho, Ho!
So, give me four more years as Your President and there are so many more crumbs, I will give you and make Christmas all about me not the other Jesus.
From The White House and Mar a Lago, Merry Christmas America!
So, HO, HO, HO, and to all of you a very good night dreaming about me!
Impeach me once shame on you; elect me twice, that will be so nice for me.
And Arthur if you are very good, I may come back and write some more.”
(This series dedicated in honor of the late Liu Xiaobo & Jamal Khashoggi)